Thursday, February 28, 2013
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Some Stories
Charlie and I met at a party. Next day we get together for a date, we walk a precinct. Actually it was this precinct, it was for Larry Kapiloff. I recall talking to voters on this very street, I liked it even then, its a wide, concrete street with lots of palms, kind of reminds me of how LA looks in old movies. Of course in the '70's you never knew what would happen when someone answered the door. Billows of smoke at some places, a door opens to reveal a tabletop covered with white powder, a drunken lady (at 10 in the morning) answers another. That was the '70's. Its still a really nice street. This house was not on the list for that precinct walk, but I was friends with a lad who was the boyfriend of the guy who owned the house. A few years later they had us over for a visit. Its a great house. In passing I said "If you ever want to put the house on the market let us know". A few months later, the only time I ever ran into the lad on one of my morning walks he tells me the house is going on the market that very day, so I tell Charlie, he makes an offer, its accepted, and we moved in in 1983, on my birthday. 30 years. Charlie almost made it the 30 years, 29 actually. I can't even count how many parties and fundraisers for Democratic candidates we've had here, and they always worked out great. The house is an original, its got great views, great decks, its got a vibe somehow. Parties, gatherings, take a few minutes to click in and then they just roll, everybody has a good time. Of course, no gatherings since Charlie passed away. I think the parties are over.
Charlie had some interesting and fun stories. He told me that the day he started law school, at UCLA, he took a law book down to the beach at Santa Monica to study and a sea gull crapped on it, he looked at that as a commentary by nature on law. For a time he had a rental upstairs from an artificial limb retail store. For a time, if I remember correctly, he lived in a house on the street where the Sharon Tate murders had taken place. UCLA offered a quarter away program in the TTPI, Trust Territories of the Pacific Islands. In the interview the interviewer asked Charlie if he could stand being away from LA for 3 months. No problem! LA drove Charlie crazy. While working with the TTPI he wrote a lot of their fishing laws and a good portion of their Constitution. He and other workers lived in a concrete hurricane proof house with no windows, it was always at least 100 degrees inside, they shared it with a shrew. He toured a lot of the islands in the area. Sorry I forget the name of the island, maybe it was Truk, but it was famous because thousands of Japanese jumped from the cliffs to their deaths rather than to be captured by Americans. He told about the locals smoking refreshments the thickness of a finger then going boating, and not knowing that you needed to have gas in the tank for the motor to run. He told about one pair of guys whose boat got lost at sea for weeks, but it was found with only one guy in it, surprisingly ( ! ) well fed.
In college, Stanford, he spent a semester at the school's campus in German. He was an accomplished linguist, he got an 800 on the GRE in German. Whenever we'd go to Stanford reunions the group that had gone to the German campus always had their own mini-reunions and Charlie was well remembered, well loved. He was a genius. Seriously. He got into Stanford at age 16 on a full ride scholarship. Also a scholarship to UCLA Law School. Brilliant. But he never lorded it over anybody. In law he was not competitive, he helped people. That was his natural instinct. His love was basketball. He played in as many as four leagues a week, he played on the San Diego team in the gay games (can't call it the gay Olympics) in Sydney in 2002. Anyway back to Germany. One of his stories had it that as WW2 was ending Germans knew they were losing, knew they would be taken captive, and one particular family he met knew they would be taken either by the Russians or the Americans. Naturally they feared being taken by the Russians. They told him that when a Black soldier knocked on their door they fell on their floor in tears of joy because obviously the Black soldier had to be an American; their fate was secure. Those mini-reunions were always fun. It was amazing talking to perfectly middle class, ordinary looking people who had for example hitched steamers across the Mediterranean, who had hitched through Eastern Europe and through the Soviet Union. Charlie also had fun stories about he and his family traveling through East Germany to Berlin; there were so few cars on the road they knew if you'd been speeding because your progress was marked from checkpoint to checkpoint. And there were a LOT of checkpoints. Dad, Chuck, asked one too many times for papers at such a checkpoint responded "How do you think we got this far without papers??" I guess the guard didn't understand English well enough to understand. Charlie's photos of East Berlin were remarkable, remarkable there could ever be so much gray, relieved only by red Party banners for Walter Ulbrecht. He and other Americans visiting Berlin walked down to the Wall to see it from the Communist side and were held at gunpoint by guards until it was established that they were not East Germans trying to escape.
Stanford...what a beautiful school. What nice people. Charlie always loved Stanford, always cherished memories of his years there, always enjoyed visiting. And other Stanford grads I have met all felt the same way, a deep love of their university. The alumni association takes very good care of the alums, keeping them involved. One of the nice things is visiting alums can attend lectures by professors to catch up on work in their fields. You could select anything. We went to physics, geology, economics, art, and music presentations. Very interesting, and it does keep the alums involved. Although a U of Oregon grad myself I kind of consider myself part of that Stanford family, kind of a legacy from Charlie. I root for both the Ducks and the Cardinal. Oh. They used to be the "Indians" but that name became politically unacceptable. There was a poll to search for a new name. Charlie said quite a few people supported "Robber Barons". I loved his sense of humor! However the Stanfords made their money, they did a magnificent thing in creating that University, what a wonderful legacy not just to California, not just to all the people who have graduated from it, but to America and the world. The entire computer revolution, the entire electronics revolution, began because of basic research carried on at Stanford.
Charlie got a CO status during the Vietnam War, after graduating from Stanford. He worked at a lab researching neurology at UCSF. He lived in Oakland and commuted into work at UCSF on a hillside in the Haight. His vehicle was an old white panel van. Only view out the back was through a window, and from the sides, the mirrors. I had the misfortune to drive it, it seemed to have no clutch. I would plan routes that had no hills so it wouldn't roll back while waiting for the clutch to catch. But Charlie did fine with it on the famous hills of San Francisco. He enjoyed Bay Area life, he had several friends in the area. We would often drive up to Oakland to visit Steve and Pat. Oakland gets bad press. It was Queen Liliuokalani's favorite mainland city, it has some of the best weather in the Bay Area, some of it is scary but a lot of it is really nice. From the hills at sunset you can look across the bay and see the sun setting behind the Golden Gate Bridge, it leaves a trail of gold across the bay, perhaps explaining the name Golden Gate. And we always liked to walk across that bridge during our visits. Of course, always visiting the Castro. Charlie had The Look down quite well. A tight green tank top, tight Levis, construction boots; as he walked down Castro guys would come out of the bars to check him out.
More later.
Charlie had some interesting and fun stories. He told me that the day he started law school, at UCLA, he took a law book down to the beach at Santa Monica to study and a sea gull crapped on it, he looked at that as a commentary by nature on law. For a time he had a rental upstairs from an artificial limb retail store. For a time, if I remember correctly, he lived in a house on the street where the Sharon Tate murders had taken place. UCLA offered a quarter away program in the TTPI, Trust Territories of the Pacific Islands. In the interview the interviewer asked Charlie if he could stand being away from LA for 3 months. No problem! LA drove Charlie crazy. While working with the TTPI he wrote a lot of their fishing laws and a good portion of their Constitution. He and other workers lived in a concrete hurricane proof house with no windows, it was always at least 100 degrees inside, they shared it with a shrew. He toured a lot of the islands in the area. Sorry I forget the name of the island, maybe it was Truk, but it was famous because thousands of Japanese jumped from the cliffs to their deaths rather than to be captured by Americans. He told about the locals smoking refreshments the thickness of a finger then going boating, and not knowing that you needed to have gas in the tank for the motor to run. He told about one pair of guys whose boat got lost at sea for weeks, but it was found with only one guy in it, surprisingly ( ! ) well fed.
In college, Stanford, he spent a semester at the school's campus in German. He was an accomplished linguist, he got an 800 on the GRE in German. Whenever we'd go to Stanford reunions the group that had gone to the German campus always had their own mini-reunions and Charlie was well remembered, well loved. He was a genius. Seriously. He got into Stanford at age 16 on a full ride scholarship. Also a scholarship to UCLA Law School. Brilliant. But he never lorded it over anybody. In law he was not competitive, he helped people. That was his natural instinct. His love was basketball. He played in as many as four leagues a week, he played on the San Diego team in the gay games (can't call it the gay Olympics) in Sydney in 2002. Anyway back to Germany. One of his stories had it that as WW2 was ending Germans knew they were losing, knew they would be taken captive, and one particular family he met knew they would be taken either by the Russians or the Americans. Naturally they feared being taken by the Russians. They told him that when a Black soldier knocked on their door they fell on their floor in tears of joy because obviously the Black soldier had to be an American; their fate was secure. Those mini-reunions were always fun. It was amazing talking to perfectly middle class, ordinary looking people who had for example hitched steamers across the Mediterranean, who had hitched through Eastern Europe and through the Soviet Union. Charlie also had fun stories about he and his family traveling through East Germany to Berlin; there were so few cars on the road they knew if you'd been speeding because your progress was marked from checkpoint to checkpoint. And there were a LOT of checkpoints. Dad, Chuck, asked one too many times for papers at such a checkpoint responded "How do you think we got this far without papers??" I guess the guard didn't understand English well enough to understand. Charlie's photos of East Berlin were remarkable, remarkable there could ever be so much gray, relieved only by red Party banners for Walter Ulbrecht. He and other Americans visiting Berlin walked down to the Wall to see it from the Communist side and were held at gunpoint by guards until it was established that they were not East Germans trying to escape.
Stanford...what a beautiful school. What nice people. Charlie always loved Stanford, always cherished memories of his years there, always enjoyed visiting. And other Stanford grads I have met all felt the same way, a deep love of their university. The alumni association takes very good care of the alums, keeping them involved. One of the nice things is visiting alums can attend lectures by professors to catch up on work in their fields. You could select anything. We went to physics, geology, economics, art, and music presentations. Very interesting, and it does keep the alums involved. Although a U of Oregon grad myself I kind of consider myself part of that Stanford family, kind of a legacy from Charlie. I root for both the Ducks and the Cardinal. Oh. They used to be the "Indians" but that name became politically unacceptable. There was a poll to search for a new name. Charlie said quite a few people supported "Robber Barons". I loved his sense of humor! However the Stanfords made their money, they did a magnificent thing in creating that University, what a wonderful legacy not just to California, not just to all the people who have graduated from it, but to America and the world. The entire computer revolution, the entire electronics revolution, began because of basic research carried on at Stanford.
Charlie got a CO status during the Vietnam War, after graduating from Stanford. He worked at a lab researching neurology at UCSF. He lived in Oakland and commuted into work at UCSF on a hillside in the Haight. His vehicle was an old white panel van. Only view out the back was through a window, and from the sides, the mirrors. I had the misfortune to drive it, it seemed to have no clutch. I would plan routes that had no hills so it wouldn't roll back while waiting for the clutch to catch. But Charlie did fine with it on the famous hills of San Francisco. He enjoyed Bay Area life, he had several friends in the area. We would often drive up to Oakland to visit Steve and Pat. Oakland gets bad press. It was Queen Liliuokalani's favorite mainland city, it has some of the best weather in the Bay Area, some of it is scary but a lot of it is really nice. From the hills at sunset you can look across the bay and see the sun setting behind the Golden Gate Bridge, it leaves a trail of gold across the bay, perhaps explaining the name Golden Gate. And we always liked to walk across that bridge during our visits. Of course, always visiting the Castro. Charlie had The Look down quite well. A tight green tank top, tight Levis, construction boots; as he walked down Castro guys would come out of the bars to check him out.
More later.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Political
Charlie's delegate T shirt from the 1992 New York Democratic National Convention
A portrait of President Franklin Roosevelt given by a member of the Roosevelt family to Charlie's mother. She grew up near Warm Springs, Georgia, and often in the area saw President Roosevelt driving his specially equipped car with controls on the steering wheel. She was a highly intelligent woman. Although raised in the South she adapted to a changing world. She accepted Charlie's gayness and our relationship. Regretfully, to be sure, but she accepted. Politically she was always right on. Her pantheon of heros: Jesus Christ, Franklin Roosevelt, Jimmy Carter, Jefferson Davis. Her graduation annual from U. of Georgia, 1940: every single graduate was white! Not a single Black or Asian face. Amazing. How times have changed.
Charlie with Morris Kight, a legend in gay liberation, his activism going back to the 1950's. A true hero. Photographed at the 2000 Los Angeles Democratic National Convention. Charlie's last time as a delegate. We stayed at a modest but quite adequate little hotel run by an Indian family in downtown LA, within walking distance of the venue, the Staples Center. I got to be in the hall for President Clinton's memorable and rousing speech. Democrats are always very considerate of each other, trading or loaning credentials to get on the floor. There is no experience like it, it is monumentally exciting to sit in on history being made. Or, in Charlie's case, to actually be in on making history. At that convention Al Gore was nominated for President, he chose Joseph Lieberman, Senator from Connecticut, as his Vice Presidential nominee, and for that portion of the convention Charlie got credentials for a Jewish friend. Tears flowed down his face as Lieberman got the Vice Presidential nomination. This is a great country. 
Another photo from the 2000 Democratic convention in LA, Charlie with some of our women delegates. Our gay San Diego Democratic Club has been sending delegates since 1980. It is undeniably fun and exciting but also extremely important. The party gets a great deal of direction and guidance from its conventions, the platform being a major example. The party and its elected representatives in office act on the ideals expressed in the platform. It has been a long, slow process. Lots of people contributed to the present state in which gay equality has been mentioned by President Obama, and in which states are actually voting in favor of gay marriage today. Truth is, gay lib began with a riot at the Stonewall Inn in New York in 1969 when drag queens refused to accept bullying from the NYPD. Sad it takes violence but the truth is, thats all bullies understand, its all that works. But civilized politics changes laws. Responsible representation of the concepts gain public acceptance. Charlie served in both those capacities. And as a Democrat he was on the county central committee and on the state Democratic Party committee for decades.
A photo of Charles with Governor Gray Davis and Dede Alpert. Democrats are so reasonable, so sane!Friday, February 15, 2013
Honored
Monday, February 11, 2013
Trips
I was thinking about some of the great trips we took together. Really, too many to mention them all. Of course New Zealand was absolutely outstanding. In 1985 Charlie, sister Charlyne & I flew from Honolulu to Christchurch and started a month long vacation on both the North and South Islands. More about that later. Charlie and I drove to Vancouver a couple of times, we flew to Seattle and rented a car for another trip to Vancouver and Tofino, also an utterly outstanding trip. Charlie as a four time delegate to Democratic National Conventions naturally got to travel to them and I went along. 1980 in New York, 1992 in New York, 1996 in Chicago, 2000 in LA.
In 1980 Charlie won for delegate at a caucus at a local union hall. The New York gay community arranged housing for gay delegates, we stayed with Bruce Voeller and his partner in Soho, it had been Aaron Burr's townhouse, it was one of three houses on Manhattan Island with its own swimming pool. From Soho it was an easy walk to the venue at Madison Square Garden. I heard President Carter speak in the hall, got to attend gay caucus meetings. We went to a party that was mentioned in "And The Band Played On", I never figured out why I couldn't get into the bathroom until the passage in the book explained what the bathroom was being used for. After the convention we went out to Fire Island, it was two weeks before Patient Zero Gaetan Dugas arrived so we did dodge a bullet. Then on to DC. A friend of Bruce's had attended a party he threw and invited us to come visit, so we got to explore that very interesting city, too.
1996, Chicago, we were blessed with great weather. Boated on Lake Michigan, enjoyed the city, then motored around the Great Lakes. We swam at Miners Beach on Lake Superior. As we were entering the water the locals told us we would freeze our asses off but it was September, the lake had had time to warm to a comfortable 65 degrees and after we cavorted around in the water for a few minutes the locals joined us. We enjoyed the Dorr Peninsula, we enjoyed the U.P. of Michigan. It too was a great trip.
In about 1986 a friend of Charlie's from work, from NYC, needed a car driven from NYC to San Diego, she told us to go anywhere we wanted but to just get the car to San Diego. That was almost a month, too. Staying with a friend we'd met at Fire Island in 1980 we enjoyed New York again, then off to Poughkipsie where we picked up the car. We drove into the Adirondaks and enjoyed autumn colors. Enjoyed might not be the right word, we were utterly blown away by them. We climbed Mt. Marcy, highest mountain in NY State. Then on to Montreal where we hooked up with Sandy who, like Charlie, had survived a bout with melanoma. She is fun, she knows how to party, and we did party. We stayed at the Aubin Motel, a combo motel and plant nursery. It worked. Montreal is a great, fun, interesting and beautiful city, I would recommend it to anyone. Then southeastward toward Maine.The Maine coast is as beautiful as they say. Acadia National Park is stunning. More autumn colors, and stunning beautiful beach scenes. Sandy caught a plane back west from Augusta and we started our drive west. Through New York State to Niagara Falls, also mind numbingly spectacular. A down note was a gay hotel in Toronto, for a lot of reasons we did not enjoy Toronto, but you can't win em all.
Through the U.P. again, to Minneapolis where we tried to look up a friend of mine from college, but missed him. Oddly enough we ran into him years later on a ferry from Nanaimo to Vancouver and he and his girlfriend turned us on to Seattle and the Northwest, but that is another trip. Through the Badlands, on to the Black Hills, to Rapid City, to Mt. Rushmore and I did find it stirring. We love America. For all its faults and quirks it is a great place and some great people have made it so, and you see four of them carved into Mt. Rushmore. On to the Corn Palace. Wow. Is this even on the same planet as New York City? Quite a contrast. Visited the little town where Charlie's employer had grown up. He went on to an illustrious career in law in California. To Coloado, on to New Mexico with the stunning beauty of yellow aspens against the purest blue sky. Finally into Arizona, saw our first palm trees in a month. Almost hit a coyote eating some road kill on Highway 8 in the desert. Coming out of the eastern San Diego County mountains still about 30 miles from the sea we could smell the ocean and knew we were home.
New England fall color
Brilliant yellow aspens
Calvin Coolidge's home in Plymouth, Vermont. Ladies running the museum had been little girls in 1923 when Coolidge got word there that President Harding had died, and he Coolidge was President. They said it was a tiny sleepy little town but that day it was full of government cars and officials. They remembered it like it was yesterday. Fascinating talking with them. The house had no indoor bathroom. Quite a contrast to the truly elegant mansion of President Franklin Roosevelt at Hyde Park, which we also visited. Also truly fascinating.
My nomination for one of the funnest places I have ever visited, the great city of Montreal.
In 1980 Charlie won for delegate at a caucus at a local union hall. The New York gay community arranged housing for gay delegates, we stayed with Bruce Voeller and his partner in Soho, it had been Aaron Burr's townhouse, it was one of three houses on Manhattan Island with its own swimming pool. From Soho it was an easy walk to the venue at Madison Square Garden. I heard President Carter speak in the hall, got to attend gay caucus meetings. We went to a party that was mentioned in "And The Band Played On", I never figured out why I couldn't get into the bathroom until the passage in the book explained what the bathroom was being used for. After the convention we went out to Fire Island, it was two weeks before Patient Zero Gaetan Dugas arrived so we did dodge a bullet. Then on to DC. A friend of Bruce's had attended a party he threw and invited us to come visit, so we got to explore that very interesting city, too.
1996, Chicago, we were blessed with great weather. Boated on Lake Michigan, enjoyed the city, then motored around the Great Lakes. We swam at Miners Beach on Lake Superior. As we were entering the water the locals told us we would freeze our asses off but it was September, the lake had had time to warm to a comfortable 65 degrees and after we cavorted around in the water for a few minutes the locals joined us. We enjoyed the Dorr Peninsula, we enjoyed the U.P. of Michigan. It too was a great trip.
In about 1986 a friend of Charlie's from work, from NYC, needed a car driven from NYC to San Diego, she told us to go anywhere we wanted but to just get the car to San Diego. That was almost a month, too. Staying with a friend we'd met at Fire Island in 1980 we enjoyed New York again, then off to Poughkipsie where we picked up the car. We drove into the Adirondaks and enjoyed autumn colors. Enjoyed might not be the right word, we were utterly blown away by them. We climbed Mt. Marcy, highest mountain in NY State. Then on to Montreal where we hooked up with Sandy who, like Charlie, had survived a bout with melanoma. She is fun, she knows how to party, and we did party. We stayed at the Aubin Motel, a combo motel and plant nursery. It worked. Montreal is a great, fun, interesting and beautiful city, I would recommend it to anyone. Then southeastward toward Maine.The Maine coast is as beautiful as they say. Acadia National Park is stunning. More autumn colors, and stunning beautiful beach scenes. Sandy caught a plane back west from Augusta and we started our drive west. Through New York State to Niagara Falls, also mind numbingly spectacular. A down note was a gay hotel in Toronto, for a lot of reasons we did not enjoy Toronto, but you can't win em all.
Through the U.P. again, to Minneapolis where we tried to look up a friend of mine from college, but missed him. Oddly enough we ran into him years later on a ferry from Nanaimo to Vancouver and he and his girlfriend turned us on to Seattle and the Northwest, but that is another trip. Through the Badlands, on to the Black Hills, to Rapid City, to Mt. Rushmore and I did find it stirring. We love America. For all its faults and quirks it is a great place and some great people have made it so, and you see four of them carved into Mt. Rushmore. On to the Corn Palace. Wow. Is this even on the same planet as New York City? Quite a contrast. Visited the little town where Charlie's employer had grown up. He went on to an illustrious career in law in California. To Coloado, on to New Mexico with the stunning beauty of yellow aspens against the purest blue sky. Finally into Arizona, saw our first palm trees in a month. Almost hit a coyote eating some road kill on Highway 8 in the desert. Coming out of the eastern San Diego County mountains still about 30 miles from the sea we could smell the ocean and knew we were home.
New England fall color
Brilliant yellow aspens
Calvin Coolidge's home in Plymouth, Vermont. Ladies running the museum had been little girls in 1923 when Coolidge got word there that President Harding had died, and he Coolidge was President. They said it was a tiny sleepy little town but that day it was full of government cars and officials. They remembered it like it was yesterday. Fascinating talking with them. The house had no indoor bathroom. Quite a contrast to the truly elegant mansion of President Franklin Roosevelt at Hyde Park, which we also visited. Also truly fascinating.
My nomination for one of the funnest places I have ever visited, the great city of Montreal.Sunday, February 10, 2013
Some More Pics
In bed in Seattle
At Halema'uma'u, Kilauea, The Big Island
A Northern California beach one cold winter dayFriday, February 8, 2013
Charlie's 66th Birthday Today
Today would have been Charlie's 66th birthday. He had a great life, but he really deserved a much longer one.
Charlie and friend Stuart of the San Diego basketball team at the Sydney gay games in 2002. Charlie toured Australia for about a month after the games and enjoyed it immensely.
Photo on our 32nd anniversary. 
Charlie holding proclamation from City Council honoring Charlie for his accomplishments.
Charlie at LaPush, Washington, on another of our great trips.
Charlie & me in Seattle about 1977, we had just gotten together, he had just started his beard.Saturday, February 2, 2013
Charlie's Birthday Coming Up
Charlie in Hawai'i
Charlie at Manago's in Kealakekua
Charlie & Stan in the great Northwest
Charlie & me the day we got married, June 17, 2008, before the voters denied equal rights to gay people to marry. Under the direction of the tax exempt Catholic and Mormon churches. I could go on...
The wedding party. We were married right by that grove of palms on the bay side of the County Building. I had no idea being married would add so much to my happiness, to Charlie's happiness, to Our happiness. We always joked about ourselves as being a single organism, "Charliebob", a united entity. Marriage was wonderful, really wonderful. The gay center handed out roses to the happy couples at the entrance to the building. It took a few weeks for the wonderfulness of being married to sink in. A few days after we were married we attended the marriage of two gay guys, both in their 80's, who had met and gotten together back in the mid '50's. I was the "flower stud", obviously I couldn't be a flower girl, so I was the flower stud. They have both passed on now, but I am so very glad they got to enjoy being married, before the voters had their precious say. Truth is, democracy has never stood lower in my estimation, just using it to discriminate and hurt people, to further bigotry. As I said, I can go on. All the opponents of gay marriage had to do was mind their own business. Would they want my church breaking the tax laws to put in a law that discriminated against their marriage? Not likely, but do unto others as you would have them do unto you has never counted for anything with self righteous Christian busybodies, has it?
This coming Friday, Feb. 8 would have been Charlie's 66th birthday. So hard to believe he is gone.
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