A friend has died

She fell down a flight of stairs and suffered fatal brain damage.  Everyone who knew her is sad and misses her.  For missing her I too am sad.  Yet isn't what we are all looking for, hoping for, just such an exit?  We know we will have to go, we all know and accept that, but we do not want to suffer, to deteriorate in hideous agony.  So we all hope for a sudden and as painless as possible exit.  So for that, for her, I am thankful.  I would rather die suddenly this afternoon than go on another 20 years but finish the last 5 or 6 years in agony.  Not unreasonable at all.  Plus with health issues over the last 1 1/2 years I am not at all happy living in more or less constant fear, terror, worry.  So now of our original friendship group S, N, Charlie, P are gone.  So quickly!  Seems like only yesterday we'd all collect on a beach and party and laugh it up.  Time goes by so quickly.  Truth is I don't know what my future holds though reports, tests, doctors have all been encouraging but I began with such horrible numbers.  Oh well.  Maybe I'll stumble down a flight of stairs and my worries will be over.  And that would be a good thing, a blessing, something to be thankful for me for.